Motherhood: This is Hard

I started a post this morning about exercise but as my day has worn on it isn’t exercise that’s on my mind.  Right now I am in survival mode.  I’m trying to survive a sick day with angry kids and it’s not going well.

It’s something you do not, no, cannot fully grasp until you are a parent.  You hear, over and over again, that parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do.  You try to imagine what that means.  And then you are there and you think, “Oh.  This is what they meant.”

Today is one of those days.  I’m not sure what to say other than I am drowning.  I was not born with the gift of patience so, over the years, I’ve cultivated, practiced and learned to be patient.  But today it seems that everything I give just isn’t enough.  There has been yelling and scolding.  There have been tears and frustration.  And I don’t know what to do.

One of my boys has been incredibly challenging lately.  He is angry, mean and manipulative.  He is not always this way but he has been for the past few days.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know if there is something wrong or if it is because he feels sick or if he’s sleep deprived or if it something deeper than that.

When your kids go off to school you are no longer in control of their day.  You don’t know if someone is being unkind to them or if they are being unkind to others.  You don’t know if they are struggling with new concepts in class or if the excel.  You can’t control the friends they play with or if they even have friends at all.

I’ve also not had good success in simply asking him.  He is happy to blame others for his bad choices but I still don’t know if that’s where the behavior stems from.

Some days I think maybe I should just pull him out of school and homeschool him but I’m not sure that is the best choice.  He and I often butt heads which makes me “teaching” him incredibly difficult.  I know we could overcome this if we really needed to but, when asked, he says he loves school so I don’t want to take him away from something he loves.

I’m confused and stressed and frustrated and not sure what to do.  I’m hoping tomorrow is a better day and that all my anxiety is for naught but if it’s not I feel like we’ll need to make some changes.

Any thoughts from out in the blog world?

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