A close friend of mine told me she is pregnant today and my heart hurts. I hate that I feel this way. It feels disloyal and selfish. It is disloyal and selfish and yet I still feel it. And I hate myself. I don’t remember if I’ve shared this here before or not but my husband and I have suffered from infertility before. It took us three years to get pregnant with our first son.
I know I should just be thankful. And I am. I have three beautiful, wonderful children. We have more kids, already, than most people want to have at all today. And yet, here I am, longing for one more.
We’ve been trying for some months now. Longer than my dear friend whom is now pregnant. And I am not.